Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Heroes Journey Part I

Here is Part I:

Follow Your Bliss

Joseph Campbell
(March 26, 1904 – October 31, 1987) wrote a book called The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1949).

His work is summarized with the words, "Follow Your Bliss," or "The Hero's Journey.


When I began to share the idea of going to Jonas Brothers concerts with Hannah this summer and the ups and downs of selling my house, several of my friends told me that I was on a Hero's Journey; the kind of journey Joseph Campbell talked about in his books. I resisted this idea and pushed it away. How could this be a Hero's journey? I wouldn't even consider what they were saying. This was Jonas Brothers concerts! This is frivolous, fun, carefree.

Hadn't I already been on the hero's journey when my son was born with a congenital heart defect and died 19 months later? Hadn't I been on this journey when I had an autoimmune condition and fought my way back to health? Hadn't I been on the hero's journey with my husband's illness and death. Come on! How could this be a hero's journey!

All I can say right now is they were right. When my house didn't sell and then there were delays, it was a blessing. Finding resources, placing myself in this situation, continuing to follow the guidance of my heart instead of the logic of my head opened me to new ideas, new places, and new experiences. If I had had all of the tickets and hotels and a planned itinerary, I would have missed the true journey of discovery.

If you haven't heard of Joseph Campbell or the Hero's Journey, here is a very, very brief description. If you want to know more, here is a link to one summary:

http://www.mcli.dist.maricopa.edu/smc/journey/ref/summary.html


1. Adventure: You are called to an adventure that you resist.

In my situation, I wanted this adventure with my daughter, but when the sale of my house fell through, I resisted. It didn't make logical sense. It would have been easier for me to deal with illness or death than to allow myself to go an adventure labeled fun.

For someone else, the adventure might call them to get a full-time job, but for me who had a life of responsibility, it was a call to freedom, to release myself from this life and to find a bigger world.

"By entering this stage, the person shows their willingness to undergo a metamorphosis, to die to him or herself."

Going on the summer trip meant I was risking everything. My house, my life, my reputation and opening myself to receive support in a way I had never allowed before. I spent the whole summer "asking and receiving."

2. Initiation: This is a series of tests or trials that the Hero must go through.

If you have been reading the blogs all summer you have watched us with our money struggles and with the discovery of resources to make it to the end.

There was a point when I arrived in Florida for two concerts in August. As much as I truly love my family, I knew that if I were to stay in Florida with my sister or my parents, it was all over. The learning, the opportunity for a breakthrough had not arrived. I was out of money. I had to find a way to continue. I thought about giving up and staying there with them. It was safe and comfortable. I could have waited for the settlement of my house on Aug 28 and quit this crazy concert thing I was doing.

Under different circumstances I would have loved to hang out in Florida for a few weeks. But, on the hero's journey, sleeping at a rest stop for several weeks was more desirable. That is where the breakthrough to freedom would happen, not in the womb of childhood. I felt at that time that all I needed was enough money to fill up the gas tank and drive as far as I could, then wait for the house to sell.

At that point, a good friend loaned us $300 and Hannah and I decided to commit to the next three concerts. We had over 1,000 miles to cover for those three concerts. It was a quest at this point that stretched us to find free or really cheap tickets, sleep in the car, and look for free food.

In Atlanta and Nashville, we received free tickets that would have been discarded, and we slept in the car on our way from Atlanta to Lexington, Kentucky. We ate free ice cream for lunch in Nashville at an Honor Society event. A free hotel room in Kentucky. Ask and receive. Ask and receive.

It was after sleeping in the car, as a conscious choice, that I found the deepest level of freedom I have ever felt. I can't tell you why it happened that way. I only know that I felt it the next morning. As I watched the sunrise that morning, I thought to myself, I can do anything, go anywhere, or be anything I want to be! And it was the feeling of that truth that helped me expand into a fuller person.

3. Return: the return to your life.

We are back in Baltimore. I am writing again from my favorite Panera restaurant in the world. I am sleeping in the one bed that is left in the house. I am asking myself questions.

Is that why the house has not sold? I had to return to the place I have lived and grown for the last 28 years? The challenge at this level is to retain the wisdom and to use it in life without falling into the old patterns.


There are 17 in-depth steps in the Heros journey and I have reduced it to 3 brief sections. There is more exploration for me. It may come to me in a flash or it may come to me 10, 20 years from now.

More thoughts in a few days... The journey continues.

Concert 45: Ottawa, Canada

Concert 45: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
August 31, 2009
We made it!

The last day of the concert tour. We woke up in Toronto at the Hazelden. It is an exclusive, expensive, well-secured hotel in Toronto. A friend gave us the room. This happened three times in the last week. One night we slept in the car and then three amazing hotel rooms from someone who follows the blog. Now, I really felt like a groupie and a roadie. I have not figured out how to tell that part of the story. You may have to wait for the book for these details.

The important part for right now is that we had a hotel room at the Hazelden and it was a gift. Hannah, Rosie and I shared the room.

When we entered the hotel, bedraggled in appearance and with clothes in cloth grocery bags, I guess we looked a little out of place. We didn’t know the location of the elevator, the room and the Do Not Disturb sign was on. The staff walked up with us and led us to the hotel room, questioning us at every turn.

I opened the door with the key, walked in and closed the door behind us. No worries. If they posted someone outside of our door for the night, we never saw them because we did not leave the room until the next morning.

We found out later that the suspicion may have been because JB were still at the hotel. With rows of JB fans outside waiting for a glimpse and our appearance at the hotel, we may have looked like the stalking groupies that we are!

We wanted to get an early start on Aug 31. Our final concert on this summer adventure.

The streets were empty, not quite ready for the busyness of a Monday morning.

On the road to Ottawa, I stopped at Tim Horton's. I had a Canadian morning routine after four days here. It was a large cup of coffee from Tim Horton’s, a B.E.L.T. (Bacon, Egg, Lettuce, Tomato on a Bagel) and a raisin biscuit for a mid-morning snack. This would keep me going in case we did not have lunch or dinner until late. Hannah and Rosie slept almost the whole way there (5 hours)

I headed to the downtown area of Ottawa. It was the first day we did not have the name of the hotel for the JB band. We missed connecting with our "informant" and Rosie was the only one of us using phone service in Canada. Our connection did not have service either.

As I said, we were headed toward the downtown area of Ottawa when Rob Hoffman, the JB photographer, sent a tweet about looking out his bedroom window and seeing a castle. A clue! This was so much fun! Rosie started tweeting and making phone calls to people she knew.

We looked around and saw three castles. I saw the Westin Hotel next to a castle and started to head that way. A fan tweeted confirmation to Rosie. A group of fans had been outside since yesterday and , "yes," they had seen the band at the Westin.

JB was still in Toronto and flying in later. More information for why we were escorted to our hotel room the night before.

I dropped Hannah and Rosie off at the Westin Hotel and went in search of parking. Driving around I heard the song, “Tonight’s Going Be a Good Night.” I opened the sunroof, turned up the music and sang it at the top of my lungs. YES! It was time to celebrate. We made it to 45 concerts. I was giddy with joy and amazement!

It took me 30 minutes to find parking. Walked through a flower mart. Eyes wide opened, enjoying this day. With toiletry kit in hand, I walked to the Westin Hotel, found Hannah who directed me to the Mall bathroom. 15 minutes later, I felt refreshed and ready for the concert.
By the time, I put everything in the car, the first JB band bus was pulling away from the curb. Miguel, and Garrett and Ray, three of the Horn players were standing with the girls and I got several pictures.

Time to find the venue again. It was really a night of good-byes. Although the World Tour continues in Europe beginning Oct 31 in Germany, this was the end of the North America tour. We are not sure which bands are going to Europe. I think the band is the same but you never know. Things change so much.

At ScotiaBank Place, the arena in Ottawa, Hannah had the band signing her US/Canada map. I was walking around and around the venue. Not sure what to do with myself on this bright, sunny day. No Verizon Wireless bus with The Wonder Girls and the Honor Roll. No Burger King Apple Fries, No Mike and Ike’s trucks.

I had been saying goodbye since Atlanta. Six concerts ago. First the Verizon Wireless recording studio, then the Mike and Ike staff (James and Sean), then Burger King and the rest of the Verizon staff. Said goodbye to Jordin in Ft. Lauderdale.

The Wonder Girls gave us comp tickets in Ottawa, Hannah and Rosie and me. It was a thank you for all of the times we handed out flyers, showed up to do the dance, wrote about the love we have for them.

After seeing the tickets, we decided to splurge on a front row ticket for Hannah and Rosie bought one for herself. They were good tickets, but they were too far away to interact with the band. They decided to give the comp tickets to someone who had the top seats in the arena. And that was fun to share with a mom and daughter.

In the concert, I sat alone and there was really no one to talk with on that night. I could feel the expectation rising inside of me wanting this to be the best concert ever and the afternoon and the evening felt flat to me.

I was not a part of this inner circle. Hannah had created with the band. I kept my distance to give my daughter the space to have her own experience without her mother tagging along. I am a 52 year old woman who is traveling with the youth. I reflected on how I was feeling out of place this evening. I was thinking that I was in the same place that I started in Dallas.

Then two girls called out to me during the break between Jordin Sparks and the Jonas Brothers . Kelly and Julia. I looked around and realized that yes they were talking to me. I took a picture of them and thanked them for saying hello. They broke my pity party and the melancholy that had been creeping into the evening.

I made a conscious choice in that moment to enjoy the concert. And in that moment, I remembered that it truly is the journey and not the destination. I had flashes of all the amazing things that had shown up this summer. I remembered the moments when I felt connected. I met so many amazing people along the way. I feel like I have a new group of soul sisters: Lauren, Shelly, Susan, Abbie, Jen, Sandy and more. My younger soul sisters are Nicole, Kelley, Hannah, Stephanie and so many, I can't even think of everyone's name in this moment. You made the summer such an amazing journey.

And the people who kept me going on this journey, Laura, Karen D., Marty, Shelly, my parents, my aunt and uncle, Christina, Christine, Patty, Rob and more...

You all touched me along the way with your hearts and your support and encouragement.

With that transition, I appreciated every Jonas Brothers song, prank and dance move. I sang and danced until my feet hurt and my voice was hoarse. (Thanks Kelly and Julia!)

(Hannah will blog about this but here were some of the pranks:

-Jordin's whole band coming on stage and doing the Honor Roll during the last Honor Society song
-Rachel and Leah, back-up singers for Jordin had a pretend fight scene during SOS and chased each other all over the stage (this was the funniest moment for me)
-Tape with some words on the back of Jordin's dress
-Kevin's piano on the stage was a miniature and he sat down and played it
-Nick reading signs to himself and not out loud.
-The whole crew coming on stage at the end with shirts about Big Rob Being For Real)


At the end of the evening, I danced in the aisle by the Wonder Girls during their meet and greet lines. They know me as Mama, the affectionate name they call me. I was embraced by all of them and by Woo and Moon and David and Hanna. It had been a wild ride for all of us.

I am not the same as when I started. Anytime you climb a mountain to reach a goal, something inside of you shifts. I will write about the Heroes Journey this weekend and give you a few more details.

(More blogs about specific concerts next week)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

More to come...


Lake Michigan at Sleeping Bear Dunes. Last stop before we headed back to Baltimore.





Hannah and I arrived back in Baltimore, Maryland late last night!

The car is so dirty, I was asking a few people if you can powerwash the inside of the car! I have cleaned it four times since June 16, but this is the worst. Who knows what is hidden under some seat, creating that smell!! I am determined to find it later today.

Even with bill paying on-line, the mail is piled high. I have a contract on the house and we are in the process of working out the settlement date. I am cleaning out the last of the closets and the storage unit. Still need to find a home for my two cats, Cooper, age 15 and Playful, age 8. Life and all of the details.

In the next two months, Hannah and I are going to post blogs about the concerts and the summer journey. We are also going to post questions we have about Europe, like the best way to get from one city to another. Or things we should know before coming. Or what would YOU like to know when we are in Europe?

All I know about the possibility of going to Europe is that we would like to do this. You have been a part of leading us down this path. We want you involved with the details. It is a journey we want to take with you by blogging, answering your questions, and creating vlogs and videos of the concerts. We will share the journey of selling our house, finding sponsors and advertisers, and going to the 16 concerts in Europe.

Two months ago, I had enough money in my pocket to go to three concerts-Dallas, Tulsa and Denver. And somehow, one step at a time we made it to 45!

The inspiration of a dream happens one step at a time and right now the dream is to continue this journey in Europe. We want to share this from a fan's perspective and want you all to be a part of it. (I have Jordin Sparks song playing in my head right now. One step at a time, there's no need to rush, it's like learning to fly and falling in love... Now switching to the Jonas Brothers song, Fly With Me...)

During Sept and Oct, I will be posting 3-4 things per week. A blog, pics, videos. The best way to get all of the information is to SUBSCRIBE to the different accounts:

www.hannahhylen@blogspot.com
www.jonaswatch.blogspot.com
www.andreahylen.blogspot.com

www.twitter.com/hannahhylen
www.twitter.com/AHylen

http://www.youtube.com/user/OpentoInspiration (Andrea)
http://www.youtube.com/user/singerchick93 (Hannah)

If you have questions about any of these, write them in the comments and I will answer your questions.

Looking forward to our continued journey