Friday, July 5, 2013

Messages From a Deceased Loved One on a Cell Phone Message

Day 35 of 100 Days of Blogging

Messages From a Deceased Loved One on a Cell Phone Message

I remember the exact moment and the feeling of shock and confusion and love and gratitude.   It was early morning. I was listening to messages on my cell phone as I walked from the first floor to the third floor storage area. I was in the middle of preparing for my husband's memorial service after delaying the service for four weeks to give us all time to breathe after a 10-month cancer journey that ended with my husband dying.

As I rounded the second floor to the first floor, with one hand on the staircase finial and one hand holding the cell phone to my ear, I heard my husband's voice. "They cut me loose, come and get me."Stunned by hearing his voice, I sat down on the stairs, took a deep breath and pressed the button to listen to it again. Cradling the phone against my ear, I closed my eyes and imagined myself holding onto him. It was the last phone message he left for me and I hadn't realized I had saved it.

When he left the message, he was at the hospital calling me to come pick him up. Two weeks later, he would return to the hospital for the last time in a coma and transported from the hospital to a hospice center. After arriving at the hospice, he died 48 hours later.

As I listened to the words again, I felt comforted. His voice was relaxed, direct and still filled with hope, refusing to admit that he was going to die. I felt love and connection in his energy. How perfect to hear his voice, as I prepared the last few details to celebrate his life. After listening to the simple words, a few more times, I carefully pressed the number "9" to save this message for another 21 days.

Over the next four years, my husband's voice would appear at the perfect moments. In times when I doubted my ability to finish some of the tasks left for me to complete. In times of loneliness, wishing I had a sounding board, his voice would appear letting me know he was near.

As I released our home four years later and released the personal belongings, I prepared to let the voice message go. (How many times had I listened to it when prompted by the operator message, "check expired messages and delete or save.") I listened one last time and pressed the delete key.

It was time for me to let the voice message go and I was ready.

Everyone has their own timing for something like this. His voice is on video and audio recordings. This message was on our home phone. Trust yourself to know if you will keep something like this forever or if there is a moment when it is time to let go.

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