Our Bodies Ourselves: Women (and Men) UNITE

Day 30 of 100 Days of Blogging

Our Bodies, Ourselves was a landmark publication when it was first published in 1971 and it is still regarded as one of the best consumer health books (ninth edition published in 2011). This book inspired the women's health movement and it inspired me to do an internship at WHCC, the Women's Health Concerns Committee, in 1978. WHCC was the information source for the Governor of Pennsylvania in regards to issues concerning women's health.

Seeing the original cover of the book connects me to so many feelings. It was the first time I really felt seen and cared for as a woman. It was the first time I had the idea that I could ask for better care, like a warmed up speculum or a less invasive procedure. It was a book about women empowering ourselves through knowledge, awareness and uniting together with our VOICES.

At WHCC, we hosted women's circles with the focus of connection with our bodies. Women sitting in a circle talking about their bodies and feelings and asking questions about health, sexuality, vulnerability and power. In the circles, we taught women about breast and pelvic self- exam. At the beginning of the circle, each woman was handed a plastic speculum, lubrication, a small hand mirror and a flashlight. This was her "kit" of supplies to use in the circle and to take home with her.

We all took off our pants and sat in the circle as we all examined our own genitals. On the outside and the inside. We were taught the techniques and we were given permission to look.

I remember how special and sacred it felt to see my cervix and look at the lips of my vagina. To touch myself, as I moved my labia majora to see the vaginal opening. Lifted the clitoral hood to see the clitoris. I wondered why we didn't encourage girls to look at their genitals. Why we didn't give them permission to feel and taste and touch their bodies.

In contrast, a boy is taught to hold his penis, as soon as he learns how to pee on the toilet. Permission is received at a young age to touch himself, at least as a part of aiming his penis towards the toilet.

What do we fear about empowering girls and women with a connection to their bodies? Do we fear the power that is hidden inside?

I am writing this to tell you that there is something new waking up in me and I want to talk about sexuality and the power that is tied up in all of the rules and repression. I am reclaiming my sexuality and with it reclaiming more of my voice. It is time for the voices of  women (and men) to unite.

The conversation continues... join me and share your experiences in the comment section.


                                                                     *******

From the website: "Our Bodies Ourselves (OBOS), also known as the Boston Women's Health Book Collective, is a global nonprofit, public interest organization based in Cambridge, Mass. OBOS promotes accurate, evidence-based information on girls' and women's reproductive health and sexuality, and addresses the social, economic and political conditions that affect health care access and quality of care."

http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org

The Power of Touch: How Many Hugs Did You Have Today?

Day 29 of 100 Days of Blogging

In 1978, I took one of the college courses that impacted and touched the deepest part of me. I was studying at Temple University with the focus of graduating with a BSW (Social Work degree). The course was simply called, "Human Sexuality," and it made sense that this would reinforce the internships I had at the Women's Health Concerns Committee and Planned Parenthood that year.

One of the powerful quotes shared in the class was from Virginia Satir, an author and family therapist.

"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." ~Virginia Satir

Our physical body needs touch in order to survive, maintain and grow!

That year at Christmas, I encouraged, coaxed and persuaded all of my boyfriend's brothers and sisters to get up and hug each other after each person opened a present. I felt the importance of connection through hugging and touch. I was passionate about this wisdom that had been shared by Virginia Satir and I felt a full embodied YES! I felt the deep truth in her wisdom.

Between the ages of 21 and 48, there was no question that hugs and more hugs were shared with me throughout the day. I had a boyfriend, friends and family with regular hugs and touching. Then, I had a husband, children and home schooled in community based learning and all of the hugging was overflowing. 

Then something happened that changed everything. My husband died, my  oldest daughters moved out of the house, my youngest child was a teenager and my daily activities were with strangers. It was common to have long periods of time without hugging. Long periods of time when I was alone and I would even say that there was a part of my voice that became silent.

I now live in a house with six other people. One of the experiences I am having is the natural amount of hugging that happens throughout the day. I am becoming aware of what is opening in me. The power of touch is opening my intuition, deepening my purpose, and expanding my voice.

More to come soon... 

Why Women Sometimes Play Small by Ginny Robertson (Guest Blogger)

Day 28 of 100 Days of Blogging

GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY!

Why Women Sometimes Play Small

By Ginny Robertson

I know a lot of women. I know women who play big and I know women who play small. I also know women who play it safe in between a place I’ll call mediocrity.

What do I mean by playing small? For me, playing small means that I am afraid to be “seen.” It means that I don’t step out and announce my presence. It means that I sit on my dreams waiting for them to find me. It means I let others define who I am. And it means that I take the road most traveled instead of forging a new path.

I haven’t always played big. The women role models I had growing up did not play big. They played the role they had been given and that role did not allow for a lot of ambitious thinking. In my experience, baby boomer generation girls were relegated to the sandbox, while boys were encouraged to climb the monkey bars. Growing up I often heard the question “Who do you think you are young lady?” or the stern caution of “You’re getting a little too big for your britches!” The message I got loud and clear is that nice girls don’t show off, don’t tell you how good they are at something, don’t brag, don’t have dreams that are “too big” and never, ever throw sand in the sandbox. So I figured out, at a young age, that in order to be a good girl I had to diminish myself. I had to play small so I wouldn’t look like I thought I was better than anyone else. I had to keep my dreams to myself because who was I to have dreams this big?

This started a good girl pattern that lasted well into my mid-30’s. Even today, at the age of 61, the good girl is right under the surface waiting to emerge at inopportune moments. Fortunately, I manage to quiet her most of the time. But for the first 35 years of my life I did what I was told. I got good grades because that’s what good girls did. I went to the college my parents chose and majored in education because that’s what they wanted. I started a career with a major corporation who said they would pay for more education if I majored in business administration with a concentration in finance. So I did. I accepted promotions based on others’ assessments of my capabilities, instead of my own desires. And I stayed in a marriage that was dying on the vine because I didn’t want to disappoint my parents.

Looking back, I see that I did not have a life plan. I did not have a career path. I was simply reacting to other’s choices for me and was not self-aware enough to know that I was not happy with those choices. However, it was very safe. The chance of rejection was slim. I didn’t make any waves so I pleased everyone but me. Playing small was the outcome of all of that training.

At the age of 35 something frightening and wonderful happened. I started to doubt those choices. I summoned up the courage to disappoint a lot of people and ended my marriage. I started wondering if maybe life was supposed to be fun and adventurous. I started to look inside to see what I was made of and what mattered in my life and I discovered a gigantic lack of congruence between what was most important to me and what I was showing to the world. There’s a terrible truth about self-awareness. Once known…things cannot be un-known. So what began as a restless internal nudge became a loud wakeup call. And there was no going back.

I continued this process of self-examination and discovered there were things I wanted to be and do. I discovered skills I didn’t know I had. I found I loved to be in front of a room talking to people, teaching and facilitating…something I had resisted before. I found that I was a natural leader and that people valued my opinion. I said yes to things that scared me…like leaving my well-paying, benefit laden career for a chance to do something I loved. I found that once I took a risk it was hard to go back to that fearful place again. When I stepped out of my comfort zone…my comfort zone expanded and I had a bigger playing field which made the next decision easier.

So how do you know if you are playing small in your life? Start by asking yourself these questions:

 (1) Am I feeling restless inside? Is there an internal gnawing and dissatisfaction that says something is not right…that there must be something more?

(2) How do I react to others I think are playing bigger than me? Do I admire them? Scorn them? Am I envious of them?

(3) Do I care more about what people think of me than I do about living my dreams?

 (4) Do I really know what is important to me and do I live accordingly?

(5) When was the last time I had that adrenaline rush of stepping out on a limb and not knowing if it was going to hold me or not? 

Taking some time to reflect on and answer these questions can be the first step to discovering where you are right now. And here’s what I believe…Once you identify areas of your life where you want to make changes…the perfect people and opportunities will show up to help you find the way. Pay attention so you don’t miss them!   

Ginny Robertson is President of Ginny Robertson LLC, an organization that “Connects Women Around the World to their Gifts, Their Purpose and Each Other.” She facilitates workshops, speaks to large numbers of women’s groups throughout the year and is the Founder, Publisher and Editor of On Purpose Woman Magazine.  In 2000, she founded On Purpose Networking for Women which holds 7 meetings each month in various locations in Maryland. She is a contributing author to two anthologies: The Spirit of Women Entrepreneurs…Real-Life Stories of Determination, Growth and Prosperity  and  Conscious Choices…An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life and for 3 years was the co-host of WomanTalk Live Radio on 680 WCBM. In 2012 she was named one of Maryland’s Top 100 Women by The Daily Record. www.ginnyrobertson.com

                                                                           

Develop Self-Love and Discover Your Own True Path in Life

Day 27 of 100 Days of Blogging

Don't you love full circle moments? On February 16, 2011, I wrote this blog on another site and it mentions the work of Christine Arylo.  This week (2 years later!)  Liz Draman and I interviewed Christine on our radio show Voices of Love.

Click on this link to listen to the show. (Dare to Fall in Love with Yourself)

February 16, 2011

We have all been placed on earth to discover our own path. We will never be happy if we live someone else's idea of life. ~James Van Praagh.

The best way to discover your own path is to develop a relationship with yourself, to cultivate self-love and to spend time in solitude.

There is a brilliant five minute video called, "How to be alone." Filmed by Andrea Dorfman and written and performed by poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis, it explores the idea of nurturing and developing the skill of being alone.

We are not really taught that it is okay to be alone."You'll find, it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it" a quote from the video.

Tanya suggests we start by making a list of acceptable places to be alone. The bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Prayer and meditation are more acceptable places.Then, her poem invites you to take yourself to dinner with linens and silverware. Take yourself dancing and dance like no one is watching.

In one of the scenes she is sitting on a bench alone and opens you to the idea of how this creates a space for an unexpected conversation. She says, "It may never have happened, if you weren't there sitting by yourself."

More quotes from the film, "If you're happy in your head, then solitude is best and alone is okay. It doesn't mean you're not connected.Take silence and respect it."

There is a tendency to look outside of ourselves to fill time that could be spent alone.


How To Be Alone

During the last year, I spent many hours in solitude. Walking on the beach, sitting in coffee shops by myself, going to plays in small theaters and finding the joy in getting to know myself better. I have more clarity, joy, wisdom and feel a sense of grounded freedom. I encourage everyone to go on this journey with themselves. You are a magnificent being. Open to this discovery.

There is a wave of self-love appearing in events and on the internet. The Agape Spiritual Center in Los Angeles sponsors an event on Valentine's Day with music, conversation, good food and hand massages. Self-love is encouraged and celebrated.

"The deep love you seek starts and ends with the love you have for you" ~Christine Arylo

Feb 13 has been declared an annual celebration called, Madly in Love with Me Day. Some of the suggestions for developing self-love first:

• Love yourself, all of you, especially the parts hard to love
• Settle for nothing less than your heart and soul desire
• Have only relationships full of unconditional love and respect
• Be nice to yourself (stop being so hard on you!) Develop compassion for who you are.
• Take care of yourself, without guilt (you give from the overflow)


Christine Arylo

Let's all send ourselves pure unconditional love and open to the true path we are guided to follow. Knowing yourself will heal inner loneliness and the fear of loneliness.

Open to the gift of who you are and Celebrate!

Question 5: WomanTalk Live 5: What needs to be said bigger, louder, stronger?

Day 26 of 100 Days of Blogging

I had the opportunity to answer 5 provocative questions asked by Ann Quasman host of WomanTalk Live Radio Show. The description of Ann's shows on her website:

A More Conscious Conversation

We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of the fluff.
Enough of the kind of topics that only skim the surface of who we are as women.
We want to go deeper.
We want to talk about topics and issues that support and inspire us.
We want to have conversations that make a difference – in our own lives and in the lives of other women. Everywhere.
We want to get involved, and we want to evolve.
We want a more conscious conversation.
So, enough of the fluff. Let’s start talking.


The 5th question Ann asked me:

What needs to be said bigger, louder, stronger? 

My Answer: "In Heal My Voice, we are calling out to every woman to share her VOICE. It means being vulnerable. It takes courage and we are doing this together. Every time a woman shares her story, her journey, the things that she has hidden because of trauma, shame, grief or loss, she gives another woman permission to do the same. Marianne Williamson said this in 1997 in her book, Return to Love, and it is still true. If I take a risk, be vulnerable and share my VOICE, it creates a pathway for you to share yours. YOUR VOICE MATTERS!"

How would you answer this question? What do you think needs to be said bigger, louder, stronger?

To read all 5 Questions and Answers, Click Here: WomanTalk LIVE

Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a global community of Empowered voices. The mission is to empower women to heal a story in their lives, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership at the dinner table, in their communities and in the world. Working with everyday extraordinary women, projects in 2013 include Voices of Peace, Voices of Love, and Voices of Feminine Leadership. Current pilot projects include working with women with the experience of prison: letter circles and opportunities to write their stories. Andrea is a speaker on Collaboration as a Business Model, Empowerment and Grief Transformation and the author of four books. She lives in Santa Monica, California where she can be found regularly dancing on the beach.

One Woman: A song

Day 25 of 100 Days of Blogging

Take a moment to listen to the song. The words say it all.

Shine on Sisters.

We are One Woman.
You cry and I hear you.
We are One Woman.
You hurt and I hurt, too
We are One Woman.
Your hopes are mine and WE shall shine.

And One Man He Hears Her Voice...

http://youtu.be/ldyvIcVR9JI

 

Every Challenge Comes With a Solution

Day 24 of 100 Days of Blogging

This message arrived in my inbox:

"Today, Andrea, we believe God wants you to know that ...

every challenge comes with the solution hidden inside.

When God puts obstacles on your way, you are meant to grow by overcoming them. Look for the seed of the solution at the very heart of the challenge."

                              *****

Good to know because I see a few obstacles right now. Curious as to how I am going to overcome them.
 

How about you? Any challenges or obstacles? Share them with us and let's see what keys we can find together.

                                                             

Voices of Feminine Leadership Begins

Day 23 of 100 Days of Blogging

One of the most challenging things for me in the last year has been staying with the unfoldment of the Divine Feminine in my life and in the Heal My Voice programs. I like a plan and deadlines and forward movement and the rapids in the river where everything is moving. Even though to be in the rapids ALL the time can cause adrenal failure!

For the last year, I have questioned this "waiting, waiting, waiting..." It feels like I have an idea or I want the start date to be something I think and then it is delayed and shifts. How do I run an organization and have a program without a firm start date and deadlines? How do I continue to live in this fluid way?

Back in 2008, I was still living my life with the three year wall calendar, appts, work, vacations, homeschool curriculum all laid out. Although there was flexibility and change in the schedule, there was a lot of predictability. Things happened if they were on the calendar.

Since January 2009, the fluidity, the uncertainty has been increasing until, here we are. Today is the beginning of the next Heal My Voice project. Voices of Feminine Leadership. A deeper conversation about what is emerging, about what we are noticing, about how we can step into greater leadership in our lives.

With the women who have signed up for Voices of Feminine Leadership, we begin today with a webex event and a conversation: Exploring Feminine Leadership. I wonder if in this next year, I will learn to trust that everything unfolds in Divine Order. Trusting the the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine are dancing together in my life in Harmony and Balance.  How will that change my life?

Yesterday I saw a few posts from authors and speakers who postponed the release of a book, the launch of a product, the start of a new workshop because they felt guided to change something and there was a sudden flow of newness.

Is this the new way of living? Will we ever return to the scheduling of the past?

Post your thoughts, feelings and experiences in the comments section and let's begin a deeper exploration together.

For information on Voices of Feminine Leadership: Click Here

Sing Like No One is Watching: A Short Video

Day 22 of 100 Days of Blogging

A little snippet for a Saturday and a reminder to sing your song!

DOGGIE SINGS A SONG

At Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles, there is a song they sing that goes like this:

"You've got to sing your song,
As if your whole Life,
Depends on it,
Depends on it,
Depends on it!"


Now, sing YOUR song!

www.healmyvoice.org

Sanctuary By Tammy Vitale (Guest Blogger)

Day 21 of 100 Days of Blogging 

GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY!

Sanctuary by Tammy Vitale

A sanctuary is a place of refuge or  safety.  Do you have one?

As the world speeds up, and all of our “time-saving” devices simply require us to do more (because we have so much “free” time), it is good to consider creating a sanctuary for ourselves – a place we can go when we need to remember to breathe.

Having a sanctuary is a reminder that you are safe.  And you are.  No matter what outlandish dream you are following or what magnificent creation is being born through you, you are safe – so remind yourself of that by a rock or stone beside your computer, a spirit doll (How to Make a Spirit Doll ) or Taliswoman (see below) on your wall.  And a candle or three to light when it gets dark ( http://tammyvitale.com/no-cost-retreat/ )

You can create a personal ritual that makes any space a sanctuary limited only by your imagination: as small as a single birthday candle lit and blown out  (breathe in your dreams, breathe out your intention and blow out the candle), or a full altar in a quiet place in your room, home, balcony, or yard where you can go to recenter.

My first sanctuary was imaginary - a place in the giant redwoods, which, when I used them for a sanctuary, I had never seen.  In my mind I would sit amidst a giant forest.  I could only see my back and I was always naked and sitting cross-legged on the ground.  I could hear wind in the trees, and some bird song and feel the earth under me – cool, strong, calm.  whenever I felt overwhelmed I could get there on the in-breath and stay as long as I needed to come back into myself.

Sanctuary can be physical.  About two years ago, I created a Garden Goddess to watch over my sacred space.  It took me forever to figure out how to make her but once I got the concept it was so easy I couldn’t believe it took so long!  I added prayer flags and started a potted garden. 

The Goddess called other art to herself and pretty soon I had a sanctuary, without even thinking about it! (Video link for "Goddess called other art to herself" :  http://youtu.be/thRj-H9jRzQ )  It has Garden Maidens, Forever Flowers and totems, and provides a wonderful space for gatherings of my friends in the short spaces between winter and mosquitoes.

But you don’t need yard space to create your sanctuary.

You can also create sanctuary through focused attention or creative action. 

 Here’s an example of focused attention:

Fill a glass of water and hold it.  Put your intention on the glass of water and say three times, “Everything I have taken from others, I put into this water.”  Then take the water outside and pour it onto the Earth, knowing that everyone stands on the Earth and all things will be returned via the Earth.

Then re-fill the glass and put your intention to the water again.  This time repeat three times, “Everything that has been taken from me I now reclaim.”  Then drink it.  (creator of this lovely practice: Eleanor “Energy” Hammond.  You can find her on Facebook).

And an example of creative action:

When you go away somewhere, anywhere, for any amount of time, make it a habit to pick up interesting bits and pieces of “stuff” that fall into your path.

 At the beach for an hour?  Drift word, shells, rocks, twigs, sand.  Walking in the trees?  Pinecones, acorns, felled branches and twigs.  Your kitchen?  The used up wire scrub (see the mermaid on the right: 3 Taliswoman by Conni James), a bent fork, a piece of that blue glass cup that just broke, beads from that old necklace you never wear anymore.  Get the idea?  Become a collector of amazing things – be present wherever you are and look with the eye of a creator getting ready to birth a Taliswoman (be careful, after a while *everything* looks good).


Create a box to store your treasures until you are ready to take an hour or two to play with your creation.

The faces can be made from pictures cut out from magazines and pasted onto cardboard, from polymer clay or from actual clay (these two pieces use fired clay faces from my collection which I make available during workshops or retreats.)  

Any one of the Goop brand glues or hot glue is  good for putting these together and keeping them together – be warned that the smell of that glue bothers some folks. Ideas for other things to collect:  scraps of material, buttons, lace and trim, dried flowers, feathers, brooches, pins, old medals, ephemera that represents your hobbies and passions (i.e. ,if you’re an artist: an old paintbrush.  Dentist?  Tooth brush, tooth picks, old dental tools).

This should be leisurely and unhurried.  You should have time to try out different patterns with texture and color before you decide finally how your Taliswoman is going together.  Consider this time sacred.  Consider your creation a doorway opening onto secrets that you want to know.

When she’s done sit her beside your computer or on your kitchen window sill.  Whenever you see her, take a breath and create a space for her to whisper possibilities to you!

How do you create a sanctuary  for yourself?  Share your ideas here!

Tammy Vitale  (http://tammyvitale.com/about/ ) works with women who are ready to claim their Hell Yes!! life  ( http://tammyvitale.com/hellyes/ ) through Kick Start programs (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/let-me-walk-beside-you-follow-your-heart-mentoring-program/ ),  Master Mind gatherings (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/master-mind-check-in/ ) , retreats and one-on-one coaching (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/one-on-one-intensive-coaching/ )  for women and small for- and non-profit businesses. She also teaches workshops in making sacred spaces (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/creativity-classes-tools-to-your-wylde-self/ ).

Website:  http://www.TammyVitale.com
email: info@TammyVitale.com.  Tammy is currently writing an ebook on Mini-retreats...personal powerups that you can do a little or no cost and without waiting for a workshop or weekend (although those are nice too). 






 

My Dream: The Archetype of the Magical Child Awakening

Day 20 of 100 Days of Blogging 


 
I had a dream.

I was wearing a wedding dress standing next to a piano. My Dad was sitting at the piano ready to play a song for me to sing. A little girl about the age of five ran up to the microphone. Picked it up off the floor and prepared to sing. An older man hurried to the stage, pried the microphone out of her hand and picked her up to take her off the stage. She burst into tears. I calmly walked over to her and let her know that as soon as I sang my song, she could sing hers.

When I awoke from the dream, I lay in bed thinking about it.

This is what I noticed:

*The little girl was ready to share her voice, to sing her song without waiting for anyone to give her permission.

*An older man told her she couldn't sing her song and when he took the microphone out of her hand, she immediately started to cry. She was open and present and still had a voice in her expression.

*My father was waiting for me to tell him when I was ready to sing.

*I was willing to share the stage with the little girl.

*There was space for all me. I didn't have to hide anything anymore.

 (The bride in the photo is me on my wedding day October 31, 1981 when I married Bill Redington. We divorced in 1987 after giving birth to two beautiful daughters, Mary and Elizabeth)


                                           ******
                                                                                             The book on my nightstand right now is Crossing to Avalon: A Woman's Quest for the Sacred Feminine by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.  I have been re-reading it and today I came across this passage and it reminded me of my dream a few nights ago.

From the book: "The magical child archetype appears in the dreams of people who are getting in touch with meaning or creativity in their lives and sense that they might have a personal destiny to fulfill. On awakening, the dreamer will recall the dream with pleasure and often with puzzlement: who is this child? The dream appears with the possibility of new or renewed life. The soul is awakening. "


In the photo below, I am the little girl on the left and I am five years old. My sister, Joanne, is the little girl on the right and she is three years old. This is my Aunt Elsie holding us in the picture. We were flower girls at my Uncle's wedding and we sang a song at the wedding reception. The song was "I've Been Working on the Railroad." The key to this is that when I started my organization, Heal My Voice in January 2011, the words I used were, "Heal My Voice is a moving train and I am on board for wherever it is leading me."

                                       *****


The question I ask myself today is, "What part of the little girl in me is waking up and how can I invite her back onto the stage?"

And I ask the readers: What is waking up in you?

Post in the comments and share your journey with us! All Aboard!

Question 4: WomanTalk LIVE 5: What’s the conversation women need to be having collectively?

Day 19 of 100 Days of Blogging

(Part 4 of 5 Questions)

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to answer 5 provocative questions asked by Ann Quasman host of WomanTalk Live Radio Show. 

The description of Ann's radio shows on her website:

A More Conscious Conversation

We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of the fluff.
Enough of the kind of topics that only skim the surface of who we are as women.
We want to go deeper.
We want to talk about topics and issues that support and inspire us.
We want to have conversations that make a difference – in our own lives and in the lives of other women. Everywhere.
We want to get involved, and we want to evolve.
We want a more conscious conversation.
So, enough of the fluff. Let’s start talking.


Ann Quasman: What’s the conversation women need to be having collectively? 

Andrea Hylen: "How we can support and encourage each other. More and more women are saying this out loud. How can I support YOU? Let’s all acknowledge that sometimes when we see a woman who we think is smarter, prettier, and more successful, we feel less than. Let’s ALL take responsibility for the less than feelings we have and heal them together. Let’s shine a light on each other. Celebrate our unique gifts. There is room for ALL of our VOICES in the world. It is time for more cooperation and cocreation.

I BELIEVE in YOUR Brilliance. No more holding back."


To read all 5 Questions and Answers, Click Here: WomanTalk LIVE

Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a global community of Empowered voices. The mission is to empower women to heal a story in their lives, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership at the dinner table, in their communities and in the world. Working with everyday extraordinary women, projects in 2013 include Voices of Peace, Voices of Love, and Voices of Feminine Leadership. Current pilot projects include working with women with the experience of prison: letter circles and opportunities to write their stories. Andrea is a speaker on Collaboration as a Business Model, Empowerment and Grief Transformation and the author of four books. She lives in Santa Monica, California where she can be found regularly dancing on the beach.

Freedom: Ziplining in Jamaica

Day 18 of 100 Days of Blogging

Saying, "YES! led me to an experience of freedom. 
 

My husband Hurley was a born explorer and adventurer. He was a skydiving jump master, a falconer and a lover of roller coasters. When he was diagnosed with cancer, he was in the process of building an ultra-light airplane. He planned on learning to fly it when it was finished. He died 10 months later with a few more adventures in the works.
 
My idea of adventure is long distance road trips, museums, nature walks, the ferris wheel, the merry-go-round and walks on the beach.  

A year after my husband's death, a friend invited me to go on a Shaklee bonus cruise to Jamaica and Cancun and the Bahamas. Betsy and I both love to travel and this was an incredible gift. When we arrived on the ship, Betsy and I were looking at the off shore excursion choices. We both jumped at the idea of going to the Mayan ruins and temples, shopping and lunch in the Bahamas and a variety of spa treatments on the days at sea. Then, Betsy found something she had always wanted to do, ziplining above the canopy of trees in Jamaica. Although not as extreme as skydiving, I could feel the palms of my hands begin to sweat and my stomach doing a flip flop. I wasn't sure if I could do this because of the heights, but with Betsy's eagerness and the thought of my deceased husband, Hurley, I decided to go for it. I felt into the, "YES!" rising up from my heart.
 

When my husband died, I didn't feel survivor's guilt for being the person who continued to live. But, I did feel a responsibility to live life fully, to add adventures to my life that he would never have the chance to do. I felt inspired to appreciate waking up and living each day.
 

In Jamaica, we were transported by bus to a location with zipline guides, and equipment. As I suited up in the harness and helmet, I felt my husband's spirit strapped in with me. Standing on the edge of the cliff, with the guide giving me words of encouragement and explaining how safe I was while connecting me to the zipline, I took a minute to close my eyes and feel the connection with my husband in my heart. "Okay, Hurley, let's go. This one's for you!"
 

I jumped off the cliff to fly over the first riverbed releasing a scream of nervousness and excitement and joy. For the next 45 minutes, we moved along the zipline landing on one platform after another. On the last zipline run, the longest one in the series of leaps, the entire line was above the tops of the trees. One of my passions is watching birds fly and soar. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was a bird flying over the tree tops.  
 

I wanted it to go on forever. My heart soared as I felt gratitude to have had the experience. Between the eagerness of Betsy and the inspiration to live life fully, I had experienced one of the most powerful, fun moments of freedom in my lifetime.   
 
Someday I will do it again for the pure joy of the adventure and the gratitude for being alive. I will not waste one moment of the precious time I have here. I will embrace it all and live a life worth celebrating. I say, "YES!" to life...

Quiet the Mind and Take Baby Steps

Day 17 of 100 Days of Blogging

Stuart Mooney, a scientist and a Buddhist wrote on his blog that the great awakening had arrived. Between Feb 11, 2011 and Oct 28, 2011, we would all wake up! I had been waiting all of my life for that moment in time.

All over the planet there continues to be an awakening and an inner shift that is calling us to move from the mind to the heart. To move from a linear thinking to a wisdom spoken by and through the heart. I feel like finally I can be a round peg and I don’t have to fit into a square hole. I can be myself and allow other people to be themselves.

In this time of awakening we are all reminded to quiet the mind, listen for our inner wisdom, and take action in baby steps. It can be exciting and scary bringing waves of grief, as we let go. There can be discomfort as things are always shifting. I feel this way every day, do you?

I listened to Jo Dunning, a healer, as she talked about the shift that is happening. She reminded us to quiet the mind and cultivate gratitude and trust. For example, An event has already happened. Now how do we respond.

Here are some quotes from the interview:

"We very seldom get the big picture. We usually get the next baby step and then the next baby step. Occasionally, we may think we have the next picture and we find ourselves moving towards it, only to find it was just the way to get us moving so something else could be the opportunity for us. Tune into the guidance and then take action on this deep knowing."

It takes tremendous courage to be on a spiritual path. Be gentle with yourself and others. Quiet the mind…take baby steps.

Decluttering: Use It or Lose It.

Day 16 of 100 Days of Blogging

Moving is a motivator and opportunity to de-clutter. When you move, you have to look at everything you own or at the very least you look at the boxes you may not have unpacked since the last time you moved. How many times do you want to move the same boxes of stuff?

I remember moving from my first rented house with my husband and his brother saying to me, this is the same box I moved two years ago and you haven't even opened it. I refuse to move this again!

Since 2009, I have de-cluttered and released a ton of physical stuff.  Selling my 3-story house and most of my personal belongings. Living on the road. Living in smaller spaces. I continue to let go of more and more.

Two weeks ago, I moved into a 3 bedroom house with seven adults. Everyone is sharing rooms and space. So once again, I looked at my personal belongings which now fit into a 6 x 6 storage space. And once again I am inspired or maybe compelled to release more.

I have made the decision to go through a few boxes every week and look at what resources I have been hoarding and saving and use them or give them away. The first thing I found was a picnic basket with napkins and bamboo plates, forks, knives and spoons and a cutting board and knife that I have been saving since my daughter, Mary and her husband, Jesse got married over three years ago. It reminds me of that special week leading up to the wedding. I was lucky enough to be part of a crew of friends and family who were hanging out in the NYC apartment, preparing food, laughing, singing and dancing. Great memories!

I decided to use everything in the basket. To stop saving for a "special occasion." Last Saturday, I made a spinach lentil soup and served it with olive bread and butter. I told my housemates about the story of the cooking and the wedding and the picnic baskets. A special memory. Sharing it in a new space with a few of my housemates. The memory is with me forever. And now I am using the plates and utensils and the cutting board. No more hoarding. Enjoying them and using them until one day, they are old and worn and thrown away. Remembering the good times and making new good times every day.

How about you? Any unopened boxes? Any hoarding of items that you could begin to use and enjoy now?

Post in the comments and tell us about it.

Why I said Yes to Becoming a Spiritual Peacemaker

Day 15 of 100 Days of Blogging

 

I never had an aspiration to be a minister. And even though I was ordained in 2006, it still sounds strange to say the word minister or reverend associated with my name.
I have always had a deep sense of spirituality and have attended a variety of churches, synagogues and temples and explored different religions, the image of what I thought an ordained minister would be didn't seem to fit with me. It was as far from my thoughts as becoming a baseball player or a ballerina. I had an appreciation of the profession, but it wasn’t a path I felt  “called” to explore.

In 2005, my husband died and I became a grieving widow who was healing and picking up the pieces. Six months later, I found myself saying, “YES!” to studying a spiritual peacemaking ministry program.

It was the dead of winter in Baltimore, Maryland. I was regularly waking up at 3 am with a strong desire to study something. For two months, I woke up at this early hour, lit a variety of candles of a different sizes and shapes on the mantle over the fireplace. I sat in meditation and began to study for 2-3 hours. I read a variety of books, underlined words, sentences and paragraphs with a highlighter marker and took notes in a journal. I read books about fairies in the garden, animal spirits, shamanism, Huna rituals from Hawaii, the Course in Miracles, conscious evolution and a variety of hands on healing modalities. Some of the books had been a part of my life for twenty years and others were an exploration of something new.

I felt like I was back in college. My soul was craving something. The feeling was so intense I felt like I was starving and would die if I didn't wake up and study. The internal pull towards this became my Yes! One day at a time, I rolled out of bed, heated water for tea, started a fire, lit the candles, read and studied. Every morning I felt my thirst was quenched until the next morning when I was pulled into this again.

One morning I woke up at 2am, with an urgency to study a deeper spiritual program. I felt like I was shot out of a canon with the feeling of "Do it now!" I felt guided to get on the internet and search for a program to study; Jean Houston, Sonia Choquette, Barbara Marx Hubbard and a variety of mystery schools. I finally found James Twyman's Beloved Community Ministry Program. I had participated in peace programs with James for ten years. The energy and aliveness was surging through me. The Beloved Community program was shifting from a two-year program with a master's degree to a three month intensive program of immersion.

I was ready. The discipline was instilled in me from two months of preparation. I continued waking up early, and studied; listening to audio recordings, writing reflections, reading books, and participating in weekly phone calls and email exchanges with my mentor.

After 11 weeks, I completed the program and registered for the retreat where I would be ordained as a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking. I had not consciously chosen the path of ministry. I was a widow with a broken heart. My heart was cracked wide open and ready to receive an inner guidance.

In my grieving, the path had chosen me.

 

What path are you being called to explore in your life right now? Post in the comments and share your personal journey.

The Mystery of the Creative Process: By Catherine Foster (Guest Blogger)

Day 14 of 100 Days of Blogging 

GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY!

The Mystery of the Creative Process

By Catherine Foster

There is an air of mystery and mysticism around the creative process. Everyone is creative. This is our birthright. I have heard it said many times over from people, "I am not creative. I can't draw! I just do not have a creative bone in me!… etc. etc. " The truth is everyone has creative potential and can develop their creativity.

There are many views on what the creative process actually is. Is creativity by nature spontaneous or does it consist of the original use of an accomplished technique? Several experts say that the steps to the creative process are:

1. Preparation

2. Incubation

3. Illumination

4. Implementation

Can the creative process be different for different people? I truly believe that there are aspects of the creative process that are the same for a writer, a dancer, singer, song writer, illustrator, graphic artist, sculptor, painter and even a computer software designer. We each may have a little different process of the order in which we experience this adventure.

This is a diagram from Elizabeth King which is a wonderful demonstration of the artists creative process:

LINK to PHOTO

Truthfully, I can only speak from my own experience of 37+ years as an artist, expressive arts coach, experimental artist, and energy healer. This is the typical creative process I go through:

1. Illumination: There is a spark that is ignited within me. Sometimes it is a vision, a dream, a meditation or a desire to express a particular emotion. Often there is a link to an ongoing thought process as in a series I work on. "The Fabric of Life"series

or my "Peace Prevails Project" are just two examples.

2. Opening up to Possibilities: Other times my creative process is just a desire to experience joy and fun. Whether I am doing something that is representational, or a piece that is more abstract, it seems that I always start out loose with more free flowing color and designs.

This does not fit the typical step advised by "experts" in the creative process. More and more as an artist and energy healer, I find great joy in this step as I experiment with bringing up emotions to clear as I paint with my fingers on a wood surface. There is an aspect of surprise as to what a feeling looks like is both perplexing and exciting when the end result is viewed.

3. Incubation: There are times that the incubation step does apply. For years I have been incubating artworks I plan on creating before I leave this world. Part of my joy in the creative process is letting my mind go and allow the imagination take over. When the time is right, the energy propels me into action to physically create the artwork.

4. The preparation step is exciting and fun for me as an exercise mind mapping. The "how do I take a vision or idea into the physical"? There is often a lot of trial and error where I research what is needed to accomplish the imagery or vision. Sometimes it means talking with other artists, asking questions, and picking the brain of my engineer husband to collaborate with me. The process of letting the brain work out different ideas, mediums to use in order to create the effect that I see in my head is an adventurous journey.

5. Flexible : Often the creative process can take one on new roads during the physical creation. I call this step being in the moment and flowing with what the artwork truly wants. This requires listening within instead of letting the ego determine what needs to be created. There is ongoing internal conversation with the artwork. Sounds maybe strange, but yes if I listen to the art as it is being created it will tell me what it wants. Whenever I try to make the art become what I think it should be, it ends up a disaster, but if I let myself follow that inner dialogue, the creation is successful. The artworks where I paint with my fingers directly with paint on the canvas, is this same process. It encompasses feeling the energy of an emotion, letting the energy build and then flow out through my hands being flexible and open to what wants to be expressed. Example of X-perimental

My process incorporates working with energy, praying, singing, dancing, especially in the first step.  This is typical of my creative process in the artwork whether it is for myself or a client for a commissioned piece. As the artwork progresses, I usually tighten up on the piece with the detail at the end of the creative process. 

(Video: Step One-painting on metal-Catherine Foster)

Writing this blog is a creative adventure in using more of the left side of my brain than the right side. The process is similar though to the steps above as I started out loose and then tightened up the verbiage at the end. I just found myself doing the steps in a little different order than listed above.

In completion, my curious mind would love to hear what your creative process is. Is yours similar to mine or you have a different process you go through. 

Please comment on what your adventure in creativity is.

Thank you, Catherine Foster

cmbf2@me.com

www.catherinefoster.com 

www.creativitywhisperer.com

Love and love and love and...

Yesterday was the anniversary of my son's birthday. If he were still alive, he would have been 22 years old. Hard to imagine that sometimes. He died when he was 19 months old and to think about who he would have become as an adult is so strange when my photos and memories are of an infant~toddler.

Cooper died on January 15, 1993
Cooper's Memorial Service was January 23, 1993
Hannah (my 4th child) was born on January 30, 1993

Intense time of emotion. The death of a child and the birth of a child. All within a span of two weeks. Years later, it is still one of the most profound moments of my life. It taught me to feel everything. To feel the pain, to find joy in every moment and to open my heart to love and love and love and...

Kenneth "Cooper" Cox: June 12, 1991-January 15, 1993