Our Memories: Random Numbers

Day 85 of 100 days of Blogging

I was in the shower the other day when random thoughts began cascading from the water into my brain.

The social security numbers of my two husbands popped into my mind. The husband I divorced in 1987 and the husband who died in 2005.  So much for losing our memory as we age. How random is that?

I started to think about numbers.

Is it repetition? Is it the age at which we first memorized the number?

My phone number in Dallas, Texas when I was in the 3rd grade: DI8-7998.

House numbers: 8129 Bullneck Road. The first house I bought.

Birthdates.  Phone numbers of friends from before we had cell phones. My first personal growth seminar.

Random numbers.

Are you a number person? Post in the comments and tell me what you think.

New Beginnings by Nancy Kobel, Guest Blogger

Day 84 of 100 days of Blogging

GUEST Blogger, Friday

New Beginnings by Nancy Kobel

Wake up, our ship has been ice-bound long enough, the time has come to sail the open seas. ~ Rumi

I could see it so clearly in my mind’s eye:  a beautiful garden, rich with colors that expanded beyond the horizon.   I was standing at the entrance of the garden, ready, with an open heart (and a little bit of anxiety) to embrace the journey.   It wasn’t an easy road to get to this garden, to have the garden gate behind me.  There were a lot of tears, a lot of pain, a lot of challenges, a lot of courage, a lot of prayers, a lot of healing and a lot of help and support along the way.  Paulo Coelho’s quote in the introduction to The Alchemist, writes:  “the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey.”

The path in front of me is purely my own and the garden represents new beginnings in so many ways, so many possibilities of my future.  I glance behind and am amazed at my journey, some of the tears and pain feel like such a distant memory yet I know how much my past makes this vision that much sweeter.  

In the present, I have to admit, I was a little nervous with the start of this week.   Transitioning from the gift of being able to play in the world of ‘being’ for 3 months to a more structured work opportunity and the start of school and activities for my kids.  I really enjoyed the freedom of being, it was challenging to embrace after leaving the corporate world in May.   I had to talk myself out of the desire to have an extensive checklist of things to do and be kind to myself if I didn’t get everything done.  I had to revisit my own values and determine what was truly important to me and start making decisions about how I spent my time based on those values.  Having the time was a gift and gave me the opportunity to dive deep into where I was holding myself back from living an abundant life.  

I thought I had this abundance going really well – so many things were flowing my way, a work opportunity that seemed ideal, new clients, an amazing vacation in August, the completion of 2 certifications, an amazing class with an awesome coach and time to truly enjoy my children and the activities in their life without stress (and more).  I was full of amazement and gratitude as I continued to work and move forward.  

Boom – It was as if the universe, God, needed to get my attention and everything that was coming my way ended up in the land of ambiguity – the clients, the work opportunity, the vacation all ended up in chaos and uncertainty.   It turns out my ‘ask’ button was broken…or stuck from non-use.  I was on a coaching call – “does anyone have any questions?”  Nothing, my mind was completely blank, and I tried to think of a question but still nothing.  I couldn’t come up with anything yet I so wanted to talk -- this was a stretch for me and one I wanted to tackle.   “Ask if you need help.”  Asking God, the universe, the angels, Mary, etc., was easy as my trust in the support of the higher realms was firm and unshakable.  I knew it was always there, that I was never alone.  Asking people was a whole new territory and one I needed to start playing in more, one that would open me up to deeper connections, vulnerability and more challenges (and joy) along the way.  We weren’t meant to travel this journey alone, without help.  Giving and Receiving is a dance for both the giver and the receiver.  It is not one sided.  What a gift it is to allow another to give and graciously receive.  We need to be open to asking and open to receiving, especially if we are constantly giving and giving and giving.   We know the joy in giving but do we know the joy in receiving?   I know I am not alone in this mindset of being strong, independent, responsible, doing everything myself while giving everything I have, thinking I am not worthy to receive help, to receive love, to receive what I need and desire.  I am excited to release that belief and see what is ahead.  It has been new territory and I may falter along the way but I am ready to continue playing more with the feminine energy of receiving in balance with the masculine energy of giving.   I have been out of balance for far too long…       

“Put me in Coach – I am ready to Play!”

Nancy Kobel, CPC, ELI-MP

Nancy is founder and CEO of Leader Inspired.  She is a certified professional life and leadership coach and a certified Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, speaker, author and workshop facilitator.  She is trained through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and is passionate about helping women who feel stuck in the ‘shoulds’,  discover their true gifts,  release what is holding them back and reclaim their feminine power,  so they can lead a life they love.  She has spent over 20+ years in the corporate world, with a background in leadership development (and engineering) and is a contributing author in HMV: Inspired Voices and part of the HMV:  Feminine Leadership project.  She is looking forward to speaking at the On Purpose Woman Conference in September, her topic:  “Reclaim your Tiara”.     

www.Leaderinspired.com

https://www.facebook.com/LeaderInspired

www.linkedin.com/pub/nancy-kobel/b/912/b40/

www.OnPurposeWomanConference.com

The Adventure of the Airport and Travel

Day 83 of 100 days of Blogging


Two of my housemates drove me to the airport yesterday. Big hugs and kisses. Well wishes of "safe travel" and "see you soon." I love that kind of send off and I love picking people up from the airport, too. Hearing the first words about their trip and how they are feeling.

Even with the long line to check-in at Southwest with the holiday weekend approaching, I could feel my heart fluttering with excitement and anticipation. There is something about the airport that always fills me with joy. The hustle and bustle. Watching people arriving. Noticing moments like children with teddy bear backpacks and little suitcases on wheels. Watching people go through the security checkpoints, like the woman yesterday who had a bottle of Jack Daniels in her bag shrugging her shoulders in resignation when she had to let it go and the man who untied his sneakers and walked very carefully through the queue without stepping on them and tripping. Watching people just tickles me. We are all so precious!

My smile just kept getting bigger and bigger as I walked to Gate 11, radiating joy and sharing it with everyone who checked my bag and ticket; every person I bought food and drink from for the 7 hour plane ride; every person I passed that would make eye contact. I love it!

How about you?

Is there a place where you get filled up with joy and then send it back out into the world?

12 Peace Prayers: #5 The Sikh Prayer for Peace

Day 82 of 100 days of Blogging As the Authors of Heal My Voice are writing their stories for the next book: Harmonic Voices: True Stories by Women on the Path to Peace, I was inspired to post 12 Peace Prayers and a little bit of the history from an event in 1986 in Assisi, Italy.  Today is the Fifth prayer: The Sikh Prayer of Peace. 5. THE SIKH PRAYER FOR PEACE   "God adjudges us according to our deeds, not the coat that we wear: that Truth is above everything, but higher still is truthful living. "Know that we attaineth God when we loveth, and only that victory endures in consequence of which no one is defeated."  From the website: The Peace Abbey traces its roots to the Day of Prayer for World Peace which took place in Assisi, Italy during the UN International Year of Peace, 1986. For the first time in history, the leaders of the twelve major religions gathered to pray for Peace of Earth. The event took place on sacred ground at the Basilica of Saint Francis, and was the occasion for the handing down of the prayers for peace. The Sacred Office of Peace, which these prayers comprise, is the text around which we established and maintain our fellowship as well as pursue our global peacemaking.

An Exploration of Anger

Day 81 of 100 Days of Blogging

Ugh! Here it comes again.

Someone confronting me about my disconnection from anger.

One of my housemates talked about how solid my heart is and how he can feel me but there is something underneath that I am not expressing. He called it anger.

I find myself wanting to "do" something with that and yet, I am afraid of it. It feels too big. It feels like I will destroy someone or something. It feels like no one can handle my anger. It feels like anger hurts people and there is no recovery.

This morning Erik talked about how disconnecting from my anger, disconnects me from people. It shuts down the dark side of me.

I feel safe with Erik and I feel like I can sink in to explore this. He is encouraging people in the house to look for moments when they sense I am angry and to do things to pull that out of me.

This is so freakin' scary! What if they stop speaking to me? What if they don't like me? What if they kick me out of the house? What if, what if, what if?

This is fresh and raw and vulnerable and unfiltered and unprocessed. It feels messy and good.

What?!?!?!?

Did I just write good?

Okay, I'm diving in. Let's see where this goes.

I know one thing...it is connected to my power and keeping a lid on anger is limiting my power.

What is your current relationship to anger?

Post in the comments and let's get this party started. 

 

Be Who You Are ALL the Time

Day 80 of 100 days of Blogging

I saw this photo and inspiration on Ginny Robertson's Facebook Page this morning:

Many years ago, I was in the middle of a messy divorce. There were so many lies being told about me, including that I didn't want to be a mother and that I was crazy for wanting to divorce my husband. Some of the "proof" was when I moved out of my house without my children (I was setting up a household in a rented house) and I learned how to read tarot cards and wore quartz crystal earrings. Another "proof" of my insanity.

In my distress, I shared this with my supervisor at work. He listened and then one day calmly told me:

Be the person you are and let that shine through in everything you do. It doesn't matter what other people tell your children about you now. Keep being the person you are and one day, they will see and know the truth.

From that day forward, I lived as authentically as I possibly could with the highest integrity. Not perfection. I live life raw and real. I strive for authenticity.

It hasn't always been easy. It can be hard to hear the lies and I haven't always handled it with the highest integrity.

When I slip off and down into a space I regret, then as quickly as possible I make amends, move forward, and do better the next time.

Twenty-five years later, I have a built a real relationship with my adult daughters. We love each other. We see each other. We agree and disagree and continue to evolve our relationship.

Best advice I ever received. Thank you Jim Onaitis.

Honoring Your Feelings

Day 79 of 100 Days of Blogging

I have a new practice.

Recently, I found myself in a flow of adjustments throughout the day. After traveling for three weeks, I arrived back to my community house with bed and work location changes happening. More guests were staying in the house than usual. So, where I was sleeping, where I was working kept changing and one person moved out and three people were moving in.

It went on like this for five days. I slept in a different bed every night. I walked throughout the house to find a quiet place to lead Heal My Voice phone calls and that changed with each phone call.

Until one day, I realized that underneath my yes, sure, going with the flow, "I can share a room with anyone"...I became aware of a feeling of sadness. I was about to push it down and not feel it and adjust, but something inside of me said, "Stop. Feel. Say it out loud."

This inspired me to start a new practice: Take a moment throughout the day to see how I am feeling. To acknowledge the feelings that are under the desire to flow with change and to give my desires and feelings a voice. It may not change the direction of where I am flowing next. The practice is a commitment to feel and communicate. No more stuffing or being the person who flows so easily without a voice.

"How am I feeling" is the question and then a moment or two or more to honor it all.


                                                                   *****

Three years ago, I wrote an article where I talked about honoring the feelings in grieving. All change involves loss. You let go of one thing to open to another. Even the loss of a roommate and the gain of a roommate you are excited to get to know is a change of loss and gain.

Honoring Your Feelings

Originally written in summer of 2010:

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. ~Bob Dylan

The quote from Bob Dylan reminds me of the most important step in grieving, honoring your feelings. You can stand in the rain and get wet or you can let the rain into your heart and soul. Your feelings are there for a reason. Whatever event has opened the door to grief, the loss of a loved one; a health challenge; the loss of a job or the loss of a dream; there is a gift in grieving.

The gift is in the feelings and they deserve respect. Feelings can be anger, sadness, disappointment, hurt, shock, betrayal and even relief. Why is it so important to feel the feelings? When you can feel and grieve, you open your heart to experience more love, joy and happiness.

In the Art of Loving, the author, Erich Fromm said, "To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness."
In other words, by detaching from the feelings around grief we place our heart in a box. Nothing can touch it. We cannot feel the pain and we cannot feel love. The gift of grieving is the ability to go deeply within ourselves and to open our heart to feel more emotion. Ultimately that leads us to feel more joy.

The greatest gifts in my life have been the moments when I loved so deeply that I felt like my heart was breaking. The truth is that the heart muscle was being stretched and expanded in this moment of pain. There is a gift in the ability to love and feel all the feelings.

My son, Cooper was born with a congenital heart defect. He had an absent pulmonary valve and an enlarged lung. After his first open heart surgery at the age of two weeks old, the doctor told my husband and me that he might not make it through the night.

As I looked at my little boy in an infant bed I knew that I loved him more than I had ever loved before. In the pain of the thought of losing him, my heart expanded to be with him and love him. With tears streaming down my face, I told my son that no matter what he chose, life or death, I would be by his side. I told him that if he wanted to fight for his life, I would be with him every step of the way. And if living was too hard and he wanted to die I would still love him with all of my heart. My heart expanded to love him unconditionally. Five minutes later the nurse told me his vital signs were improving. In this moment, he had chosen life.

For 19 months, I loved my son for who he was through two open-heart surgeries, shunt and hernia operations. I threw away the developmental books that told me who he should be at a certain age and I loved him unconditionally for who he was. Ultimately, he died from a 4th stage neuroblastoma cancer. In my heart I knew that he had completed his mission in life and had made the decision to let go and die.

He was one of the greatest teachers in my life. One big lesson was to love people for who they are and let go of trying to change anyone. Grieving the loss and feeling all of the emotions opened my heart to love everyone in my life deeply.

When you open your heart to grieve, you open your heart to love.

12 Peace Prayers: #4 The Muslim Prayer for Peace

Day 78 of 100 days of Blogging As the Authors of Heal My Voice are writing their stories for the next book: Harmonic Voices: True Stories by Women on the Path to Peace, I was inspired to post 12 Peace Prayers and a little bit of the history from an event in 1986 in Assisi, Italy.  Today is the Fourth prayer: The Muslim Prayer of Peace. 4. THE MUSLIM PRAYER FOR PEACE In the name of Allah, the beneficent, the merciful. Praise be to the Lord of the Universe who has created us and made us into tribes and nations, that we may know each other, not that we may despise each other. If the enemy incline towards peace, do thou also incline towards peace, and trust in God, for the Lord is the one that heareth and knoweth all things. And the servants of God, Most Gracious are those who walk on the Earth in humility, and when we address them, we say "PEACE."  From the website: The Peace Abbey traces its roots to the Day of Prayer for World Peace which took place in Assisi, Italy during the UN International Year of Peace, 1986. For the first time in history, the leaders of the twelve major religions gathered to pray for Peace of Earth. The event took place on sacred ground at the Basilica of Saint Francis, and was the occasion for the handing down of the prayers for peace. The Sacred Office of Peace, which these prayers comprise, is the text around which we established and maintain our fellowship as well as pursue our global peacemaking.  .

Sexuality, Money and Power: The Value of Female Desire

Day 77 of 100 days of Blogging

“The anthropologist Margaret Mead concluded in 1948, after observing seven different ethnic groups in the Pacific Islands, that different cultures made different forms of female sexual experience seem normal and desirable. The capacity for orgasm in women, she found, is a learned response, which a given culture can help or can fail to help its women to develop. Mead believed that a woman's sexual fulfillment, and the positive meaning of her sexuality in her own mind, depend upon three factors:

1: She must live in a culture that recognizes female desire as being of value;
2: Her culture must allow her to understand her sexual anatomy;
3: And her culture must teach the various sexual skills that give women orgasms.”

~Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities


This quote and the opportunity to hear Naomi Wolf speak at the OMX (Orgasmic Meditation Experience) last weekend in San Francisco is opening a dialogue that I have been wanting to have for thirty years. I shut it down when I got married the first time in 1981. And when I shut it down, I also shut down desire. I shut down my ability to ask for what I wanted from life and I shut down my ability to have it all. I shut down my expectations, my asking, my receiving.

All of that shut down the full expression of me!

In an exploration of sexuality this year, I finally got the AHA about what I want to talk about and where I want to focus the next 20+ years of my life!

Sexuality, Money and Power. 

It started to bubble up in me about two years ago. I noticed it again last month around Day 29 of blogging for 100 days this summer. Now at Day 77 of blogging, I can feel the AHA and the burning desire to embrace and heal this part of me and to deepen the conversations with women (and men) around this topic.

Here are some of the questions I am exploring:

Sexuality: Are you connected to and tapping into your sexuality in your personal, business and spiritual life?

Money: Is there a flow of money in your life that meets all of your needs and desires?

Power: Are you connected to your personal power in every area of your life?

All three are tied together. Out of balance with one and the other two follow right behind.

This is the next frontier for women to embrace and conquer together in community, especially at this time on the planet.

This is the key to balance in the world.

Post in the comments and let me know what you think and feel about this!

Liberating women, liberates men!

Day 76 of 100 days of blogging

Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. ~Margaret Mead

Funny the way that works. I was noticing how each time I receive support from a man, my ability to give back is exponentially increased. So all of the men and women in my life receive more...love, time and attention from me.

How about you? Do you notice this in your life?

Living, Learning and Growing ~ My Journey Continues By Beth Bracaglia, Guest Blogger

Day 75 of 100 days of blogging

Guest Blogger FRIDAY

Living, Learning and Growing ~ My Journey Continues

 By Beth Bracaglia

From August 2-4, I attended the “Next Big Buzz 2013” conference in Baltimore.  While I don’t normally attend many business conferences, I felt compelled to go to this event.  One reason was that I was getting ready to hit a milestone for Simply Organized, four years of having my dream come true – my very own business where I am able to do exactly what I love – organize my client’s homes and offices.  Yet, up until a few months ago when I completely revamped my website, I was beginning to become a bit unfocused on where to take the business next.  Another reason was that I felt the need to make my presence known on a much larger stage, and to truly figure out if I was heading in the right direction.  I was looking for a sign, but wasn’t exactly sure where it would appear.  

Well, I can tell you one thing – that sign showed up, big time!  From the start of that conference, I knew I was in for something that would really begin to catapult me to the next level.  I went to the networking event on Thursday evening and met some of my Facebook friends from near and far, some of whom I knew would be attending, and many that I had never met in person.  They were as dynamic as I thought they would be, and it was great to connect on a face to face level.  On that first evening, I had the opportunity to meet some of the speakers who would be attending the conference that weekend, and it gave me the opportunity to make those connections early on. 

During the first day of the conference, I had the good fortune of sitting next to a young business man who is really making his mark in his area of expertise.  I really don’t believe that there are many coincidences in this world.  Sitting next to him, I realized that no matter how young (or old for that matter) you are, you can make a difference to the people that you meet.  It also made me realize that my message and story of both organization and inspiration truly matter.  It’s not that I didn’t believe that before the event, but listening to him talk about his passions, and then hearing many of the other speakers who were up on the stage, it just made me think even more about where I want to focus my energy and how to spread my own message. 

On Saturday, something really incredible happened to me.  I was one of two people – out of the 175 people in attendance – to be chosen for a laser coaching session on stage with Mara Glazer, the event organizer and a business coach that really just tells it like it is.  She actually calls herself the “cut the crap” coach.  Well, she definitely lives up to her title, and that is a very good thing in my opinion.  She was the main reason that I was there, after having met this dynamo coach two months earlier in person at an information session she held in the Baltimore area.  There, she spoke about her upcoming August event and made me realize that it was long overdue that I spent some time focusing on ME, and paying even more attention to Simply Organized.  Let me note here that I do truly care about my business, and while I focus on it each and every day, I also do consulting work for a sports marketing/events company, where I work about 20-25 hours a week, so at times, I need to find clarity in my own business goals for the Professional Organizing part of my business.  I was a bit nervous about going up on stage to tell the whole business truth to a ‘cut the crap’ business coach, but it’s what I was there for after all.  In the application for the laser coaching, I spoke of how I wanted to move forward with Simply Organized and how much I wanted to achieve those goals.  The main issue is that I’ve been so busy helping others in their life and business, that I often disregard my own dreams, hopes and goals for the business.  I’m certainly not saying that helping others is a bad thing, but at times, it can stop the flow of money into my business.  And sometimes, that is where I can get stuck.  Well, after a taped 45 minute session up on stage, in front of the other attendees, I came out with so much more clarity than I even thought was possible. I realized that I can still help others, but also not by pushing aside my own business.  I realize this, but I needed to hear the ways to improve my business in order to move forward and thrive.  And, you know what?  I’m going to continue to do so, in a MUCH bigger way.

This past week I hit a big milestone in my business – it’s 4^th Anniversary!  Simply Organized continues to grow and be successful.  I’m using my voice to get referrals, testimonials, and to network even more.  I’m continuing to write each week in my blog.  I’m getting out there in a bigger way, because I have to and I want to.  It’s the reason that I started the business – to help my clients to organize their homes and offices and to bring them peace of mind through the process and to help them move forward in their lives by utilizing my skills and expertise as a Simplicity Coach.  And the journey continues into my fifth year in business.  What does the future hold?  Big, big things … I can just feel it!  

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Beth has over fifteen experience as a Professional Organizer and is the Chief Organizing Officer & Simplicity Coach of Simply Organized.  She has a Bachelor's of Science degree in Management and Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Clemson University.  Beth also studied Organizational Development at Johns Hopkins University.

Beth's experience prior to owning Simply Organized was in Project Management, Training & Development and Human Resources in fields as diverse as communication, technology, restaurant management and event operations.  She is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers.  Beth also does consulting work for companies in the Baltimore, MD and Washington, DC areas.

web:                http://www.simplyorganizedtoday.com
LinkedIn Profile:  http://www.linkedin.com/in/bethbracaglia
Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/simplyorganizedtoday
Pinterest:          http://pinterest.com/bethbracaglia

Raise our Sons More Like Our Daughters

Day 74 of 100 days of Blogging


“We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.”
― Gloria Steinem

What does it mean to raise our sons more like our daughters?

I raised my daughters to be nurturing, caring, to serve others; To connect, build community, cook and clean. I nurtured and encouraged their unique talents and skills.

I also raised my daughters to have a voice. To speak up for themselves and to speak up for people who were less fortunate than them. To be free thinkers and use their creativity and follow their heart.

In the homeschool community, I witnessed sons being raised in that same way.

I read this quote by Gloria Steinem right after one of my new housemates, Erik, offered to pour me a bath with bath salts, candles and essential oils. (He received support and assistance from Jamie, one of the women, who knew where everything was located. Jamie also brought me a tall glass of water.)

 Tonight Jason and Erik are cooking dinner for the house. Playfully creating the meal, telling stories, talking about food intermixed with booming laughter.

Damian just arrived home from a business trip and he listened to the details of my three week trip and then helped me carry things in from the car to the house. Ending the evening with dancing.

I enjoy living with ignited men. I witness when they get angry and when they cry. I see their strengths, the edges they are working on to be better men. I see where they jump in, where they hesitate. I see that they are waking up alongside the women.

Seeing all of this gives me hope for the world. We are raising daughters and sons as full human beings and many of them are now adults who are igniting the world with their desires and passion and brilliance.

12 Peace Prayers: #3 The Jainist Prayer for Peace

Day 73 of 100 days of Blogging As the Authors of Heal My Voice are writing their stories for the next book: Harmonic Voices: True Stories by Women on the Path to Peace, I was inspired to post 12 Peace Prayers and a little bit of the history from an event in 1986 in Assisi, Italy.  Today is the Third prayer: The Jainist Prayer of Peace. 3. THE JAINIST PRAYER FOR PEACE Peace and Universal Love is the essence of the Gospel preached by all the Enlightened Ones. The Lord has preached that equanimity is the Dharma. Forgive do I creatures all, and let all creatures forgive me. Unto all have I amity, and unto none enmity. Know that violence is the root cause of all miseries in the world. Violence, in fact, is the knot of bondage. "Do not injure any living being." This is the eternal, perennial, and unalterable way of spiritual life. A weapon howsoever powerful it may be, can always be superseded by a superior one; but no weapon can, however, be superior to nonviolence and love.   From the website: The Peace Abbey traces its roots to the Day of Prayer for World Peace which took place in Assisi, Italy during the UN International Year of Peace, 1986. For the first time in history, the leaders of the twelve major religions gathered to pray for Peace of Earth. The event took place on sacred ground at the Basilica of Saint Francis, and was the occasion for the handing down of the prayers for peace. The Sacred Office of Peace, which these prayers comprise, is the text around which we established and maintain our fellowship as well as pursue our global peacemaking.

Voices of Peace: Gloria Steinem, A Peacemaker and a Feminist

Day 72 of 100 days of Blogging

In the Heal My Voice project Harmonic Voices, women are writing a personal story about peace.  One of the women in the project suggested we all write a blog this about people who have inspired us on our peaceful path.

I thought about all of the peacemakers who have inspired me. And as I reflected on them another vision of peace came to me:

The willingness to stand up for something that may not look like peace. It may stir up controversy. It may make people uncomfortable. It may put a VOICE to something no one is saying out loud.

Gloria Steinem is a Peacemaker and a Feminist.

When researching more about Gloria Steinem, I discovered that after graduating Phi Beta Kappa from Smith College in 1956, she spent two years in India. She wrote for Indian publications, and was influenced by Gandhian activism.

The influence of Gandhian activism was a thread throughout the women's movement. No acts of violence. Using words. Writing. Speaking. Vulnerable. Powerful. Standing up!

Was there anger? Yes. When a human being is suppressed from the full expression of who they are, there is anger. It can be stuffed down and turn in to depression or anger can be a powerful igniter of passion and forward movement.

I am a peacemaker and there have been times in my life when anger has moved me to express. When I feel or see injustice or suppression, there is a fire that begins to burn and rumble from deep inside. The burning bypasses the "nice girl, don't make waves" part of me.

My Voice must be heard!

Gloria Steinem isn't stuck in the nice girl. She has expanded the women’s movement to celebrate non-violent conflict resolution, the cultures of indigenous peoples, and organization across socioeconomic boundaries.

She writes and speaks and opens doors for us to have conversations, take action and the conversations cultivate peace inside of each of us. When our voices are shut down, there is no peace.

I thank her for leading the way. Refusing to be silent. Putting a voice to injustice.

I know that it has supported my journey to connect deeply with fuller expression of who I am which has led me to experience more inner peace.

I am grateful for the voice of Gloria Steinem in the world and I thank her.


                                                                        *****

If you want to learn more about Gloria, I have added a list of some of the organizations and projects she founded and participated in over the last 40 years:

In 1972, she co-founded Ms. magazine, and remained one of its editors for fifteen years.

In 1968, she had helped to found New York magazine, where she was a political columnist and wrote feature articles. She has produced a documentary on child abuse for HBO, a feature film about the death penalty for Lifetime

She helped to found the Women's Action Alliance, a pioneering national information center that specialized in nonsexist, multiracial children's education.

She also co-founded the Women's Media Center in 2004. She was also co-founder and serves on the board of Choice USA, a national organization that supports young pro-choice leadership and works to preserve comprehensive sex education in schools.

She was the founding president of the Ms. Foundation for Women, a national multi-racial, multi-issue fund that supports grassroots projects to empower women and girls, and also a founder of its Take Our Daughters to Work Day, a first national day devoted to girls that has now become an institution here and in other countries.

She was a member of the Beyond Racism Initiative, a three-year effort on the part of activists and experts from South Africa, Brazil and the United States to compare the racial patterns of those three countries and to learn cross-nationally.

Now, she is working with the Sophia Smith Collection at Smith College on a project to document the grassroots origins of the U.S. women's movement.

Parenting magazine selected her for its Lifetime Achievement Award in 1995 for her work in promoting girls' self-esteem, and Biography magazine listed her as one of the 25 most influential women in America.

 In 1993, she was inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame in Seneca Falls, New York.

In 1993, her concern with child abuse led her to co-produce and narrate an Emmy Award winning TV documentary for HBO, "Multiple Personalities: The Search for Deadly Memories." With Rosilyn Heller, she also co-produced an original 1993 TV movie for Lifetime, "Better Off Dead," which examined the parallel forces that both oppose abortion and support the death penalty.

Are You Standing at a Gateway of Transformation? By Liz Draman, Guest Blogger

Day 71 of 100 days of Blogging

Guest Blogger, Liz Draman

Transition between old and new is always meet with an Initiation, some ground shaking, others mild yet always life altering.  “As we prepare to enter a new realm we must pass through the gateway of transformation; and are usually greeted with tests. There is no initiation without tests, and this testing must take us to our limits in order to be “valid”.

Initiation is not just about enchanting rituals with candles or other mystical paraphernalia. Magic happens when you decree with Faith your Heart’s pure desire. True initiation is grounded in material reality. Its effect expands throughout mind, body and emotions. Sometimes we scream with frustration “why am I going through this again?”  This is because the test occurs on ALL levels of mind, body and emotions. The more profound the change being processed the more rigorous the test.

As we pass through the initiation we are strengthened by the process itself. Spiritual alchemy at its best reveals the true gold that lies within. This is the process of transformation that sheds the effluvia (energetic debris) accumulated (in our physical, emotional, mental & energetic bodies) over lifetimes.

We’re so conditioned to believe the process of purification is challenging and painful. This mindset has created a society that hands over its Power to outer circumstances. Our experience is relative to how much we resist letting go of the old-self. We cling to part of our-self and our life even when all evidence shows its not working for us anymore. Feeling sadness or grief when meet with a new cycle of life being experienced as death, is truly our choice.  Giving our unauthentic self an honorable death is a sacred rite of passage and necessary to birth a new experience. This seems to be the speed-bump we trip over crossing the threshold of transformation.  When meet with Love the illusion of loss melts as a child consoled by a loving parent’s embrace and All Is Well. 

You emerge a new creation; infused with Pure Universal energy flowing to, through, in and around you that ignites Your Magnetic Power on every level. Peace is restored. Joy returns. Love heals.

The gateways are always before us, it s our choice to step across the threshold to a new way of being.



On some level, through our own unique expression of life, we are all being called by the gateway of transformation.  We are being asked to emerge to a greater responsibility of being Peace, Love and Wisdom in our world; even if that world extends only to our immediate family its effects are felt throughout the universe.

Asking, “where in life am I standing at the gateway of transformation?” is the first small step toward your next quantum leap. Step boldly across the gateway with faith, trusting you are not alone! “Lo, I AM with you always, even until the end of time!”  Yeshua

I decree for me, you and every child of Light on this planet! 

“As I create a new world within me, the world around me changes to reflect the beautiful transformation inside. I walk through the Gateway of Transformation knowing that I AM safely held by the arms of Love. I approach each initiation as an adventure, loving every step of my experience. I invite all of my guides to assist me as I take each step with courage.  I AM safe and always going in the right direction. I emerge each time a new being growing closer to the potential of my Awesomeness! All is Well.  It is So, And so it is!”

12 Peace Prayers: #2 The Buddhist Prayer for Peace

Day 70 of 100 days of Blogging As the Authors of Heal My Voice are writing their stories for the next book: Harmonic Voices: True Stories by Women on the Path to Peace, I was inspired to post 12 Peace Prayers and a little bit of the history from an event in 1986 in Assisi, Italy.  Today is the second prayer: The Buddhist Prayer of Peace. 2. THE BUDDHIST PRAYER FOR PEACE May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses. May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free. May the powerless find power, and may people think of befriending one another. May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wildernesses - the children, the aged, the unprotected - be guarded by beneficent celestials, and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.  From the website: The Peace Abbey traces its roots to the Day of Prayer for World Peace which took place in Assisi, Italy during the UN International Year of Peace, 1986. For the first time in history, the leaders of the twelve major religions gathered to pray for Peace of Earth. The event took place on sacred ground at the Basilica of Saint Francis, and was the occasion for the handing down of the prayers for peace. The Sacred Office of Peace, which these prayers comprise, is the text around which we established and maintain our fellowship as well as pursue our global peacemaking.

Community Living: The Gift of Living with the Men

Day 69 of 100 days of Blogging

My life has evolved around women. My mother ran the household. I have a sister who I shared a room with during most of my childhood. I have worked for organizations like Planned Parenthood, Women's Health Concerns Committee, ran Girl Scout troops, organized women circles and started Heal My Voice, an organization committed to empowering women.

I have a father who traveled for work during the week and played golf on the weekend. I have one brother who is seven years younger than me.  I married two men who worked a lot and then spent their free time in isolation working on projects in the yard or workshop.

With housemates and friends at a dance event in Los Angeles.

Until I moved into a community house, I had very little time just hanging out in the presence of men. My current research is observing and interacting with the men I live with and the wide variety of men who come over to hang out, come to community parties and work on projects.

I am not in a romantic relationship with any of them. We live and play together in community and we do share feelings and intimacies. We are connecting.

There are two important things that have been happening for me. I am embracing the opportunity to observe and witness them individually and collectively and to receive support and words that are healing some deep wounds in me from past relationships with men.


Words of support:

(For those of you who have had solid support from a man, you may not understand the healing and the impact of the words below. But, for those of you have not felt fully supported here are a few conversations. )

Night before moving in:

Jason: "Sorry to text late. What assistance do you need for move in tomorrow? "
My inner thoughts: (Assistance? Why would I need assistance? I can move everything myself. I already packed the car and I can move everything in myself.)
Me: "I don't need any support. Thanks anyway."

(Day we were moving in)

Jason:  Are you going to sleep in the house tonight?
Me: I have a phone call at 6am that requires internet. I can't move in until the internet is installed.
Jason: (stops, puts down a box, picks up cell phone and makes a phone call. "Let's get it hooked up now. I can go over to the place to get the equipment in 15 minutes. I will get it connected tonight or tomorrow at the latest" 
My inner thoughts: (Wondering what species of man this is and why he is helping me so much. Taking charge and being so nice!)

Week 2 of living in the house

Damian: Where are you going?
Me: I am taking the bus over to Santa Monica
Damian: I can drive you. When do you want to go?
Me: In five minutes. Are you going out? Are you going in that direction?
Damian: Not leaving yet, but I can drive you whenever you are ready.

(Damian at Costco posing for photo I was sending to Andreas. Decision making about chairs for house.)


A month later. Day of community party. Jason was in the kitchen cooking for the party.

Me: I think things are too busy and there isn't going to be time for you to help me. It's okay. Maybe tomorrow.
Jason (looks me in the eye): I will make time for you right now. (Turns over the cooking for the party to someone else. Tells a guest that we will be back in 15 minutes. Stops everything and helps me!)

I have been on the road for a business trip for over two weeks. It is three days until OMX conference in San Francisco. We are all attending.

Andreas: We have a place for you to stay at the conference. Just show up
Me: Thanks for caring for me and remembering what I needed.
Andreas: You got it lady!

 

Andreas and Jason hanging out in the kitchen.

                                                                      **********

I am growing and learning.

I am seen. I am held. I am supported. I am receiving. I am cared for. I am loved.

Voices of Peace: Good Morning! Waking up to More of Who We Really Are

Day 68 of 100 days of Blogging

I was in the grocery store and the clerk asked me, "How are you today?"

ME:  "FABULOUS!"

CLERK: "Wow! Did something happen?"

ME: "Yes! I woke up this morning. I am alive.

And everything else that happens is a bonus.

CLERK: "I like that"

ME: "How are you?"

CLERK: "I guess I'm Fabulous, too!"


I feel that way about life. There are surprises that I sometimes label as good or bad, but the real answer is I am FABULOUS! I am ALIVE!

Today is a brand new day.

**********

A friend of mine, Susan Gardener, is a Peace Minister and Be Peace facilitator. She posted a link to this song yesterday. A singer-songwriter Mandisa wrote this song with Tobymac because she wanted a song that would get her going in the morning. A song that would help her get up and start life as a brand new day.

Some of the words (and the link to the video below):

Wake up, wake up!

It's a good morning, wake up to a brand new day.

I can feel the pulse that is rising up in me.

I'm just living in this moment.

Good Morning! 


Good Morning Song Click Here to Listen


My question to you:

What part of you is waking up TODAY?

Post in the comments and let us know!

Dancing with the Waves of Balance

Day 67 of 100 Days of Blogging

I came across words that I wrote almost three years ago that connect with the energy of this month. I have been talking about finding balance with connection and disconnection, engaging and disengaging, speaking and listening, doing and being. Be in the rhythm of flow. And then today I found words I wrote that show the dance of this in my own life. I share that reflection here. What is your dance with balance?

Words from a journal:

October 29, 2010

Things are changing. As I talk with people about healing grief, adapting to losses and disappointments there is one thing we all agree on. Things are changing so fast it feels like there isn’t time to catch our breath. More than any other time of my lifetime, the waves of change are relentless.

I have to remember to dance with the waves. I have to find ways to stay connected to the deepest parts of myself. So, when the waves of life appear, I remember who I am and what is important to me.

It has been 23 days since I was at the beach How did that happen? My intention is to carve out a few hours once a week to recharge my battery. Sometimes I write in a journal or take a walk or do Tai Chi. Sometimes I ask questions and sometimes I just listen.

In the last 23 days, I let time slip away. I let myself get swept up into the details of life. I forgot to breathe. I forgot how much I need it. I forgot that the reason I rented a mailbox at the beach was so I would have to go to the beach and take the time I need.

Today, I drove 30 minutes to the beach. I picked up the mail that was overflowing from the mailbox. When I arrived at the beach for a 1 hour walk, I could feel myself relax, surrender, let go. I said hello to the ocean, the seagulls and the sand. I breathed in the stillness that was present in the water. I stood still looking at the beauty of the clouds and feeling the awe.

Connecting with nature is no longer a luxury. It anchors me to the earth as I feel the It feeds my soul.
I must remember.

(The thing that has changed in three years is that now I live less than 2 miles from the beach.)

12 Peace Prayers: #1 The Hindu Prayer of Peace

Day 66 of 100 days of Blogging As the Authors of Heal My Voice are writing their stories for the next book: Harmonic Voices: True Stories by Women on the Path to Peace, I was inspired to post 12 Peace Prayers and a little bit of the history from an event in 1986 in Assisi, Italy.  Today is the first prayer: The Hindu Prayer of Peace. From the website: The Peace Abbey traces its roots to the Day of Prayer for World Peace which took place in Assisi, Italy during the UN International Year of Peace, 1986. For the first time in history, the leaders of the twelve major religions gathered to pray for Peace of Earth. The event took place on sacred ground at the Basilica of Saint Francis, and was the occasion for the handing down of the prayers for peace. The Sacred Office of Peace, which these prayers comprise, is the text around which we established and maintain our fellowship as well as pursue our global peacemaking.   1. THE HINDU PRAYER FOR PEACE   Oh God, lead us from the unreal to the Real. Oh God, lead us from darkness to light. Oh God, lead us from death to immortality. Shanti, Shanti, Shanti unto all. Oh Lord God almighty, may there be peace in celestial regions. May there be peace on earth. May the waters be appeasing. May herbs be wholesome, and may trees and plants bring peace to all. May all beneficent beings bring peace to us. May thy Vedic Law propagate peace all through the world. May all things be a source of peace to us. And may thy peace itself, bestow peace on all, and may that peace come to me also.

Voices of Peace: Be Gentle with YourSelf and Others

Day 65 of 100 Days of Blogging

On a Voices of Peace call with the Heal My Voice community of women, I was reminded of how some of the deepest, core wounds can appear during the writing process. A real life situation in the present can bring us back to the feelings of shame, or sadness or loss from a childhood experience.

A simple interaction with a co-worker, a sibling, a spouse, an auto mechanic, or a clerk in the grocery store can reactivate a memory or a feeling from the past that opens a wound.  All of these are clues.

I am writing several stories right now that tap back into feelings and memories from the past. I feel raw and vulnerable and sensitive. The people, places, thoughts that are crossing my path are the unhealed wounds. They are the clues to connecting with more peace in my soul.

For me, the deepest writing comes when I allow myself to feel the feelings of the past and find the breadcrumbs of wisdom and life experience that have emerged. It is the way I remember how each experience of pain and joy has created an exquisite tapestry of my life.

A reminder today: Be gentle with yourSelf and others. The memories and the feelings are here to help you heal. Allow yourSelf to feel it all...